GR and I had a really.. complicated.. history.. For the first few years we knew each other, working together as staff members for this silly little game, I'm pretty sure she thought I hated her. She directly confronted me at least twice thinking I did not like her. It was the exact opposite, honestly, but it's sometimes tough to communicate. But for a long time we worked together on staff to deal with.. lots of people. players and other staff alike. Lots of stressful conversations and dealings with people while quietly talking in the GM tab about mechanics, about our lives, about events, about cool things we wanted to do or see.. She didn't like to say it and people frustrated the hell out of her at times but she was so, so nice when she put her mind to it and wasn't being overburdened by minor things and was just allowed to be creative. She wrote several versions of NW, after all. These PHB's have always been more her baby than anyone else's.

She kind'a tried to help me out and.. make me into a better person, in a way? In her way—she literally helped turn me into the person I am today. It always didn't sit right with me that we broke contact entirely when the server and NW/Neo/Open dropped off but that was her way, you know? She was pretty private and I respected that. But we still spent so much time together, went through so much together, from dealing with hostile staff members to dealing with players who were always looking to get ahead, she still tried to make it as level a playing field as possible for the sake of everyone’s enjoyment. We bonded from general stresses from life we only half-mentioned ever to each other but wished each other well on—There's still a quote about how the prior game died and we had to rush it out and how stressed we were trying to finish this version of NW in time to have it ready for people to play. That was a frantic two weeks.

I guess there's a lot of things I could say but I mean I've been in admiraiton of her creativity and her intelligence and eye for mechanics and her ability to beautifully connect the aesthetic and lore of something with its mechanics and ahh—I don't want this to be taken the wrong way. I cared for her as much as someone could, I think, not knowing her better, because of all the time we spent together, talking, writing, dealing with people, dealing with each other. She wasn’t always an easy person to deal with and neither am I. And sometimes that clashed in bad ways and yet—that didn’t matter, to me, at least. I never stopped admiring her in so many ways and could never break the way I felt for her (even when I told myself that, after a bad argument, a few weeks later I’d be right back to admiring her intelligence and creativity all the same). I'm so sorry, @Tutti Frutti. Your sister was amazing. I'm going to miss her so much. I had always wanted the best for her. Your sister was one of a kind.